


Big Bad Riding Hood

by announcingmyplace



Category: Little Red Riding Hood (Fairy Tale), Little Red Riding Hood - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/announcingmyplace/pseuds/announcingmyplace
Summary: While Wolf is out grocery shopping, his house gets robbed.





	Big Bad Riding Hood

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Wolf en het Grote Boze Kapje](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714908) by [announcingmyplace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/announcingmyplace/pseuds/announcingmyplace). 



> I wrote this story in Dutch for my grandma when I was thirteen. Hope you like it!

Very, very carefully the person, dressed in a black cloak, peers through the mail slot. Their prying eyes are looking for any sign of life inside the cabin. When all seems silent, they open the door just a tad and slip inside. Without making a noise they check every room, making sure no one is home. Finally they relax, turn around and hurry back to the front door.  
"Gram, come in, the coast is clear! We have to be quick, who knows when he'll come home again," the person whispers, turning out to be a young girl.

With great difficulty and making a substantial amount of noise, an elderly lady crawls out of the bushes and enters the house quickly. She is chubby, dressed in black as well, and her face is puffy and red from the exertion.  
"Gram! Do you have to be so loud?! They'll hear your bumbling about all the way down to the creek!" the girl hisses, annoyed.  
"Well, I'm sorry, I can't help getting old. All of this was your idea after all," the old woman pants in response.  
The girl gives her a frustrated huff. "It was not! You insisted on coming back out here, and I was opposed to it!"  
"Oh," says the old woman. "It doesn't matter. Let's just hurry!" As quickly as she can, which turns out to be remarkably fast, the old woman starts shoveling anything and everything that looks like it could be valuable into a big plastic bag. The girl says, "Just go to the kitchen, I'll continue here. And be quiet!"

The woman scurries to the kitchen with another bag. Despite the warnings of her granddaughter, the pots and pans clatter together. The girl rolls her eyes and turns her attention to the living room. With an expert eye she picks up the best items in the room and tucks them away, either into her own pockets or into one of the big plastic bags they brought. Suddenly her eye is caught by a truly marvelous antique wall clock. It isn't big, but decorated beautifully with silver embellishments against the dark wood. It might just fit into the bag. Right when she starts to reach for it, she hears a sound near the door and turns around like lightning.

*

Wolf has heard voices. One belonging to a human youth and the other to an elderly lady. On his guard, he arms himself with the leek he just bought and sneaks through the door opening. An unexpected gust of wind slams the door open against his coat rack and ruins his quiet entrance. With a bang the coat rack hits the floor. Completely frozen Wolf stares at the young human girl that is standing in the middle of his ransacked living room, plastic bag in one hand and the other hand only inches away from a family heirloom. They stare at each other for a few seconds in a shocked silence.

"Who... Who are you?!" Wolf manages to exclaim.  
A wide grin starts to split the girl's face.  
"I am Hood," she says in a low voice. "Riding Hood."  
She lowers the oversized capuche of her jetblack cloak, revealing the red hood beneath it that covers her blonde hair. "But I prefer Little Red."

"L-Little Red Riding Hood?!" Wolf's mouth falls open, and panic now truly starts to rise in his stomach. Little Red Riding Hood, right here in his house? How can this be?! He has to call the police, right now. She has been terrorising the whole forest for years! She can't get away with this, not this time.  
Suddenly, an old woman enters the living room through the kitchen door, making a racket. She is huffing, her face is red and her arms are overflowing with pots, pans, mugs, a couple of plates, a dented copper tray, most of the silverware, a cheese grater and somehow between all of this she holds some piece of the extractor hood she has managed to demolish. As soon as she sees Wolf, she drops everything to the floor with a terrible clatter.  
"GRANDMOTHER?!!" This is simply too much for Wolf. He realises in a split second he has to get out of here, now. He swallows hard and takes a step backwards. Quickly Little Red moves towards him and tries to grab him, but he has already turned around and burst out the door. He runs and runs and runs, as hard as his legs allow. While running he racks his brain how he can defend himself, as he dropped the leek at the door. Desperately he tries to think of something else, something better, and runs deep into the forest. His mind is completely empty apart from the panic, he is blanking and can't think of anything! What should he do?!

*

Little Red regains her balance. "Get out of here! Take as much as you can carry!" she shouts to her grandmother. Then she starts running at top speed. She has to stop him before he can find help. She is fast, faster than him, and she has him in her sight.

*

Wolf runs. He doesn't stop even when his sides start aching. He hears a noise behind him. Leaves cracking under running feet, a hurried breath. He glimpses behind him. There she was! He can almost feel her breathing down his neck!  
Suddenly, maybe because of the pure adrenaline coursing through his veins, he knows where to go. But she is gaining on him. His strength is starting to fail him. Only a short way to go...

There! The Hunter's house! He made it! He runs through the garden, scales the porch and reaches the big front doors in a few large strides. Unable to slow down in time, he slams into the doors. Screaming for help he bangs on the doors like a madman, glancing backwards in terror. Little Red has almost reached him! Scared out of his mind Wolf jumps off the porch and frantically runs on into the backyard with Little Red on his heels, grabbing at him with fury in her eyes.

*

Startled by all the clamour the Hunter comes out of his garden shed, right in time to see a terrified Wolf sprinting through his precious flower beds. The Hunter, already gearing up to give Wolf an earful about how much effort he has put into those zinnias, stops dead in his tracks when he sees who is chasing him. Is that ...? No, it can't be! But, it is! Little Red Riding Hood! Following in her grandmother's footsteps she had become the mafia boss of the forest, and she has been on the 'Wanted' list for years. The Hunter cannot believe his eyes. The list of accusations against her is record-breaking, and it seems like she is about to add yet another murder charge. Without further hesitation, the Hunter goes back into his shed and grabs his rifle while Wolf and Little Red are running circles around his biggest apple tree.

*

Wolf is absolutely certain. He is about to die. He runs around the tree, expecting Little Red's wild face at every turn. But every time, she isn't there. Carefully he peeks behind him. She isn't there either. He continues around the tree, shaking and panting. Turning and turning and turning...  
"BOO!" The grinning face of Little Red Riding Hood pops up before him. Her red hood has sagged down and her hair is tangled from the long chase, making her appearance even fiercer. Wolf cries out in fear. She bares her teeth vicously and reaches out to him, stretching her clawing hands towards him...  
Suddenly, she stills , and falls to her knees with a blank face. Wide-eyed, she looks to her side. A small, bright green tranquilizer dart sticks out of her. Little Red Riding Hood slowly but surely sinks to the ground.

And so, the forest is finally freed from the terrible grasp of the family Hood.


End file.
